Why Crossdressers Often Feel the Need to Please Men?

You might think that crossdressing is just dressing up in another gender’s clothing. Wrong! Some MtF crossdressers, myself included, feel the pull to please men— and it’s not always clear why.

But there’s always an explanation out there. So I say, let’s explore this need together! You might think it’s a rare occurrence, but in the crossdressing community, it isn’t all that infrequent!

Many crossdressers feel the need to please men for a number of reasons. It’s a mix of validation, sexual exploration, and escapism. Crossdressers may also label it an excellent method to affirm their femininity. Others might be drawn to male attention thanks to traditional gender dynamics or personal desires.

That’s a lot huh? It truly is a layered topic. But it can hit close to home for many crossdressers. So if you’re curious about the nitty gritty details, keep reading!

1. Feminization and Submission

“Feminization” and “submission,” do you know what these words mean for a crossdresser?

a) Feminization

Generally speaking, feminization is when someone fully welcomes or at least upgrades their feminine traits. This can be done through wearing fem clothing, applying fem makeup, or adapting fem behavior.

To be specific, for many male-to-female crossdressers, feminization refers to the traditional roles of females. It’s more about feeling “feminine,” by how they present themselves to the world.

b) Submission

Submission is, obviously, submitting. It’s willingly giving up control or power. You can observe this often in a dynamic where one person takes a dominant role (aka Dom) while the other takes a submissive one (aka Sub). If you’re into BDSM, you may have an idea or two about submission.

c) The Link Between Feminization and Submission

So, how do feminization and submission connect? Let me explain it in a way that anyone can understand, even if they don’t crossdress.

Take my experience, for example. When I crossdress, my mind shifts to wanting to amp up my softer, more passive side. This is different from wanting to be degraded or humiliated, which is a different conversation altogether that may fall under BDSM.

Think of it as stepping into a role that requires you to be more feminine. Think stereotypically feminine— delicate, gentle, and openly cooperative and affectionate.

Why? It’s because many crossdressers consider “femininity” as something closely tied to the idea of submission. You can blame social conditioning for this— because we’ve been taught that women are “supposed” to be the more submissive gender.

So when a crossdresser steps into that feminine role, it’s almost like a natural pull towards being more submissive. This can play out in different ways, mind you. It can be through body language, behavior, or even thoughts.

d) Feminization, Submission, and Pleasing Men

An MtF crossdresser, dressed en femme, finds it easier to feel more feminine and submissive. Pleasing a man, then, becomes easier too. A crossdresser will feel more attuned with their femininity.

It’s empowering and satisfying that you can please men as a crossdresser who knows how to channel your inner fem!

2. Validation Through Male Attention

“Male attention,” in a crossdressers’ context, is pretty straightforward. It’s when a man notices or focuses on you. He pours his regard to only you— whether that’s in a romantic, sexual, or even just an appreciative way.

For many crossdressers, this kind of attention can feel incredibly validating. It reinforces the idea that the crossdresser is successfully embodying his feminine side and attracting the male gaze.

For male-to-female crossdressers, male attention can act as a mirror. It reflects back the feminine qualities crossdressers are trying to express with much effort. When a man shows interest, especially in a romantic or sexual context, it’s like a confirmation that the crossdresser is doing something right— that he’s able to be as desirable as a woman.

It’s not just about looking good or sexy either. It’s about successfully presenting a part of yourself you want to share with the world and being seen as something you want to be seen as.

Pleasing a man— especially sexually— can make crossdressers feel wanted. It affirms their female identity in a tangible way. It’s a powerful, validating experience that you can prove to yourself and others.

It’s about being seen, being coveted, and knowing that the feminine version of yourself is just as real and desirable as any other.

3. Fantasy and Role-Playing

Fantasy and role-playing are big parts of the crossdressing experience. Of course, not every crossdresser dresses up just for these, so don’t generalize everyone! Still, for many, crossdressing allows them to tap into a whole new world where they are encouraged to explore and dig deep into a new side of themselves. It’s like trying on a new identity, this time, feminine or female.

Sometimes, this involves stepping into specific fantasies. These fantasies can be sexual, innocent, or in-between. Overall, it’s about a part of yourself that you don’t get to express under normal circumstances.

But here’s the thing: crossdressing can be other things too. The reason can lean more on expressing your inner or true self. It can also be brought about by the desperate need to feel more comfortable in your skin. You can also crossdress just because you love love the way it makes you feel.

That said, a lot of crossdressers do find sexual fantasy and role-playing important. Crossdressing gives them the chance to explore different scenarios that they might not get to experience otherwise.

4. Sexual Exploration and Attraction

Why yes, crossdressing is also a way to explore your sexuality and attraction in ways you might not otherwise be able to! You can think of it as un-suppressing your hidden self. It’s kind of going against what you’re used to or what you do in your everyday life.

Why do crossdressers do this? Because it opens up doors to different aspects of their sexual or gender expression! It also gives them ideas on how to be attractive, in all senses of the word!

Interestingly, some crossdressers find that their sexual preferences shift when they’re dressed as women. I’ve definitely experienced this myself. While I might not typically be attracted to men in my day-to-day life, something changes when I’m fully dressed in my en femme gear.

There’s this mental and emotional shift that happens. Suddenly, I find myself more open to the idea of being attracted to or desired by men.

It’s a fascinating part of the crossdressing experience— and it’s different for everyone. Some might feel more attracted to men only when they’re dressed. Others might just feel more sexually adventurous in general.

In the end, crossdressing lets you push the boundaries of your usual preferences and explore parts of your sexuality you might not even have thought of before. If you’re not sure how this works, don’t worry. Crossdressing is a journey, and it’ll evolve overtime.

5. Escapism and Enjoyment

Escapism— now that’s a huge part of why many are lured into crossdressing. No one can deny that life can be stressful. All the pressure and what not makes it feel so suffocating. Crossdressing gives many an outlet— a way to step out of regular routines and into a vastly different world.

If you’re a crossdresser, you’ll understand what I’m talking about. When you put on your crossdressing clothing, you adapt another version of yourself. It’s like putting on a costume of you in a different universe. You get to let go of your stressful everyday responsibilities. You can focus on your femininity. It’s like a mini-vacation for the mind.

If you think about it, pleasing men while crossdressed is just about enjoying the feminine experience. It’s not always about deep psychological reasons or gender identity.

Sometimes, it’s simply fun to be a little softer, more feminine. It’s nice to be admired and wanted. Or, it can just be the pure joy of dressing up, or looking so different from how you usually look. It’s all a form of freedom and escape.

Conclusion

In the end, crossdressing is about so much more than just putting on clothes. It taps into a wide range of experiences— feminization, submission, fantasy, and even escapism.

You may be exploring your sexuality, wanting to be validated by male attention, or simply enjoying the freedom to express your version of femininity. Either way, crossdressing lets you step into different roles. When you do, you get to discover new aspects of yourself.

It’s truly an adventure filled with self-discovery, excitement, and endless thrills. No matter how or why you do it, crossdressing gives you the opportunity to explore, escape, and enjoy life in a whole new way!

FAQs

Can a man dress as a woman?

Absolutely! Anyone can dress however they want and label themselves whatever gender they want. Crossdressing is about self-expression. It’s exploring different parts of yourself.

Whether it’s for fun, personal fulfillment, or just trying something new, a man dressing as a woman is perfectly okay.

How to start with crossdressing?

Start simple! No need to buy the whole Women’s Department Store! Maybe begin with feminine underwear or an androgynous outfit that doesn’t make you uncomfortable. Practice makeup if you want, as well.

Try different looks and experiment with clothing styles. Most importantly, enjoy the process. There’s no rush in crossdressing!

Why do straight men enjoy crossdressing?

There are several reasons. But often, it’s to explore their feminine side. Plus, crossdressing doesn’t have to be tied to an individual’s sexual orientation anyway.

It’s more about expression, fantasy, or just enjoying fashion. The attraction isn’t necessarily about because someone identifies as a “straight man.” It’s a man who’s open to being more attuned to his femininity, no matter his sexual orientation.

Is it okay for men to wear women’s clothes?

Of course! Women wear men’s clothing all the time, what’s the difference if it’s men who wear women’s clothes?

Moreover, clothes don’t have a gender. Men can absolutely wear women’s clothes if it makes them feel good and confident, or if they just enjoy it. Truth be told, men don’t have to have an excuse to wear women’s clothes.

It’s about what makes someone feel great, not about what society polices you to wear.

Why is crossdressing hard to stop?

The answer will depend on the individual and what’s happening in his life. In general though, crossdressing can be hard to stop because it fulfills an emotional or psychological need.

It can be the excitement of exploring a new identity. It can also be the feeling of freedom. Or simply, it can be feeling satisfied to be seen as feminine.

Crossdressing is a way to express a part of you that doesn’t always have an outlet in daily life. It’s a deeply personal experience. For many, it’s a source of comfort and joy.