A Crossdresser’s Story: When Did I Learn There Was a Girl Living Inside Me?

Hello, lovelies! Today, I bring a very special story for you all.

It is about the first and very confusing time in which I learned there was a girl living inside me and how it started to blossom.

For most of us who have been born and raised in a very traditional way, finding out there were some strong feminine urges since very little was nerve-wracking.

As I know that most of our readers have felt in a similar way at some point in their lives, I thought you would all enjoy this story.

Keep reading if you want to find out how I took my first steps towards femininity and how my inner girl found a way to express herself.

1. A Blurry and Confusing Night

The first time that I got confronted with my inner feminine self, was one night when I was around six years old.

Being raised in a traditional Christian family, you can imagine that talks regarding gender and sexuality were not often held.

Even if they by any chance appeared, the tone and point of view were very biased.

So it was very hard and confusing the first time these feelings appeared.

The moment when I realized something was “off” was, in fact, a night during one of my dreams.

I don’t want to get all mystical about it, but there are some hidden truths even for us within ourselves, that sometimes get to manifest in our dreams.

While asleep, I dreamed a very normal dream, one in which I was living a normal day going to school, besides the fact that I was in a girl’s body.

Of course, as it usually happens with dreams, when one becomes aware that you are dreaming and becomes conscious, things get bizarre and you wake up.

I had trouble sleeping the rest of the night as I was feeling strange and frightened by the experience.

2. Not a One-Time Thing

I was able to forget the dream and feelings for a while until it became more recurrent.

It is truly strange and amazing how dreams work. The more I kept dreaming the same dream, the more details and feelings appeared.

Even as I was growing older, the dream seemed to adapt to the situation.

The last time I remember having this dream, I was wearing the girl’s uniform very happily to school!

My hair was up in two golden, curly, and beautiful pigtails!

I guess I stopped having these dreams the moment I took action and began to explore my gender, after this one last time.

3. How the Girl Came Out

Before there was a great online community like there is now, it was hard to find comfort and share these feelings with anybody.

Luckily for me, I found a way to explore these feelings by myself. I couldn’t think of sharing this with anyone.

For better or for worse, I got the chance to build a little stash of feminine clothes through the years in very sneaky ways.

Proudly enough, I think I got away through all my teens years without getting caught.

At least, no one said a word. Salvaging through anything that was destined for charity or getting advantage of clothes left behind by girlfriends.

This is how I got to build my first stash of clothes.

4. How I Got to Explore Femininity

There was a religious trip to the beach during the summer that we always made as a family.

It wasn’t until I got some money and was old enough to remain alone at my home while they went on vacation.

Then, I seized the opportunity to dress up and explore my femininity unapologetically.

Also, I made good use of my time alone to order something and expect the delivery within that time.

In case you are wondering, I got very sneaky regarding payment methods to avoid getting caught by a strange entry in the credit card resume.

During these times, I felt very happy wearing panties and a cute summer dress I had for weeks!

I even had a women’s perfume left behind by a friend that I got to use during these days.

Long forgotten were the days in which my girl was only in my dreams.

5. Where Am I Now?

Well, as you can see, I’m an active part of the crossdressing community and a big enforcer of gender education.

To be clear, I believe kids’ gender and sexuality will manifest at some point in their lives.

Education must be integral and allow a safe space for everyone to raise these questions.

This includes parents and teachers first, so they can contain and allow their kids to express and enjoy themselves in their own and special ways.

I know that it may not be a universal truth, but it was for me.

Luckily for me, I gathered the courage to come out to a girlfriend and some friends.

Not only that but also share the experience with them and go out en-femme!

I feel blessed for how everything turned out and where it is going.

I only hope to have the chance to be wearing white on my wedding day!

I hope you all have enjoyed this little tale of how I met and got to know the girl it was in me.

Of course, like life itself, this journey of self-discovery is constant and ever-changing.

But at this point in my life, I feel happy with every decision and how everything is turning out.

I am very grateful to have the opportunity to share this with you.

If you did, please let me know in the comments because it was very special for me writing it! Take good care of you all!

Written by Tina Munova