What Can You Do After Coming Out?

Coming out as a cross-dresser is the first step towards a significant improvement. Many of us struggle to do so due to several reasons. But sooner or later, we come out to someone. It is hard to keep it a secret, but if you no longer have to do so. You may now focus on stuff that makes your cross-dressing experience better.

The problem is some of us aren’t sure of what to do. You can, for example, dress up in public and buy feminine stuff more often. Or, if you prefer, open further dialogue with people about your identity. If you want guidance after coming out, make sure you read this entire article!

1. Dress up more casually

Before coming out, most cross-dressers wear formal or Galant outfits in their sessions. They want to look as beautiful and presentable as possible. It is understandable, as you may want to use your little time to look as gorgeous and feminine as possible. After all, that’s how you will remember your feminine side. But doing so doesn’t allow us to live a complete experience as a woman.

But, if you ever happen to come out, this problem is gone. You’ll have time to dress up in casual clothes that women wear in their everyday lives. This new range of possibilities will improve your overall experience, making you feel more feminine. And it might be the easiest way to start adding new stuff to your routine once you come out. I say that because coming out will allow you to do so more frequently, without having to keep a secret or justify your actions.

2. Go out en femme more often

Speaking of that, you may now be able to go out as a girl more often. I know how hard it is to do so before coming out. We must make sure no one is home when we leave and come back and try to avoid people we know on the street. Success depends on many different factors over which we have little to no control. We fear being discovered, and we fear even more its effects on our lives. We are afraid of coming out, and getting caught would force you to do so.

But, as soon as you come out, most of these fears disappear. That is because you had to overcome them before doing so. And with that fear out of the way, you can start to build up some much-needed confidence. It will, however, be much easier now since there are no more worries about simple things such as getting caught. With less pressure, you can go out with ease and more frequently. You have more opportunities, to say the least, as your schedule becomes larger.

3. Expand your wardrobe

One thing leads to another. Being able to go out as a cross-dresser means that you can shop for feminine clothes more often. You don’t even have to do so en femme! Of course, you might still be nervous and ashamed in this kind of situation. But still, you no longer have to fear getting caught, as you’re unlikely to suffer the same consequences twice. All of these insecurities are natural, but coming out may help you overcome them. The same is valid if you do want to shop en femme, in the same fashion as the topic above.

Another thing to point out is that expanding your wardrobe is only possible if you have a means of storing your new stuff. Closeted cross-dressers are known to hide their feminine outfits as they fear someone will find them. It is often effective, but your space is pretty limited by your hiding spots. But once you come out, you may fit your women’s clothing within available space in your wardrobe or closet. Another advantage is that your outfits tend to last longer in proper storage. In order words, coming out is a way of keeping and taking care of your hard-earned cross-dressing supplies.

4. Start a transition

This tip aims at trans people. Unlike most cross-dressers, they want to spend the rest of their lives as either man, woman, or non-binary. They do so through a gender transition, which is a collection of therapies, surgeries, and treatments. But unless you’re over 18 and have a stable job, starting a transition without coming out is impossible. You’ll need access to a series of medications and hormone supplies and constant psychological checkups. Some of the changes are reversible, but most of them are quite visible. If you’re on estrogen, for example, your body will become much more feminine. The transition will force you to come out sooner or later.

But if you come out before, you may start transitioning earlier. It makes the changes more effective and the results more satisfying in general. A transition with proper medical support will be much more successful than one made in secret or delayed. So, if you want to achieve a new gender expression permanently, do so after you come out. This way, you won’t need to worry about someone finding out, which grants you some more freedom to transition safely.

5. Ask for new documents

Some may see this as a subcategory of transitioning, but I disagree. New documents are but a validation of your identity. And even if it seems simple, it can help you out of some confusion. You don’t even have to change your name, depending on your country. Each year, more and more governments list gender identity as a field in their IDs. Making it clear that you’re trans, gender-fluid, or a cross-dresser in your documents is a way of acknowledging your existence and rights. By doing so, the government is giving us support to some degree.

But once again, this is something that requires you to have either come of age or come out. The latter makes it easier in many of the ways we’ve mentioned before in previous topics. To be acknowledged by others, you must first acknowledge and accept yourself for who you are. It is normal to want that, and it brings a lot of benefits. So once you come out, seek validation of your identity by requesting rectification of your documents.

6. Tell people your pronouns

How people refer to you has an impact on how you perceive yourself. Your language may represent gender roles in its composition, differing vastly between them. And in most languages, such differences are indicated by pronouns. I brought this topic because some cross-dressers feel more comfortable with either male or female pronouns. It is a matter of personal preference, unique to each person. As such, each one of us is affected by pronouns in a different way.

The problem here is that, before coming out, people will frequently refer to us with masculine nouns. It bothers some of our sisters, especially those who are transgender women. But once you do come out, you may tell people which pronouns make you more comfortable. Another thing that may happen is the case in which a cross-dresser prefers male pronouns even while en femme. This is also something we can fix through dialogue. I just want to add that you should always respect the pronouns of our sisters, even if they are different than yours.

7. Tell people how they can support you

Coming out is a demanding experience for most of us. It is not easy to confess to our closest ones that we have a different gender identity than what they knew before. But it’s worth remembering that the shock goes both ways. Some people grow up in conservative households and know nothing about trans people and cross-dressers. They might require some time to process the information, but you can help them. Do not panic if they are confused, as it’s normal to feel like that after such revelations. Instead, try to explain to them in-depth what it means to be who you are. Elaborate on concepts such as gender identity, gender expression, and gender roles.

After that, give them a break to digest all of that. The chances are that they will ask you how they can be supportive towards you. Once again, this is a personal answer, but I may give you some directions. Besides telling them your pronouns, ask them to treat you as they always did. Make it clear that you’re the same person as before, only that now you are free to express your identity. Inclusivity and comprehension are the two most effective forms of support someone can offer to a cross-dresser.

Coming out is a goal many of us aspire to achieve. It requires confidence and courage but rewards us greatly as well. The best part of it is the many new opportunities we see available. We become much more bold and confident once our fear of getting caught vanishes. As such, I would like to know about your plans regarding this subject. So if you did come out or plan to do so, leave a comment about that!

Quiz:

From all of those topics, what do you think you’d like to try out first after coming out?

A. Casual outfits


B. Going out en femme


C. Transitioning

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