The differences between being attractive and getting unwanted attention

We may have many concerns regarding our cross-dressing techniques. Most of them are about how feminine we look and how effective these techniques are. But besides that, most of us also want to look attractive. Being beautiful is somehow tied to femininity, which reflects in us. But how do we separate that from unwanted attention?

Being attractive can lead us to awkward situations. Some cross-dressers are not so comfortable with men hitting on them. But this is something that happens quite often if we look good. We must learn how to deal with this situation and be prepared for the outcomes. I’ll discuss it in this article, so stay tuned for more information!

Why do cross-dressers want to feel attractive?

Media sells us a degree of intimacy between femininity. In other words, the more attractive we are, the more chances we have to pass as women. It’s a common thing among our sisters due to all that propaganda. We believe our male features will be perceptible if we don’t look attractive enough. With that in mind, we can understand why we pursue specific beauty standards.

It’s essential to notice that it’s a misconception in the end. You don’t have to fit unrealistic standards to look feminine. Women come in many shapes and sizes, despite what is marketed to us. You shouldn’t worry much about how close you are to said standards. But the point is that many of our sisters do. As such, looking like an attractive woman is one of their goals as cross-dressers.

What makes attention undesirable

Sometimes, getting attention and compliments is a good thing for cross-dressers. Suppose you go out while en femme. You might want to hear reassuring words from strangers. Particular compliments improve our confidence and self-esteem. Some others make us feel more feminine. This might even be the main reason for going out en femme for some of us. But sometimes, specific comments on our appearance can do more harm than good.

I’m talking about the kind of harassment cisgender women also suffer. Some men will try to mess with you and leave inappropriate comments. The more attractive you look, the more often this may happen. They completely disregard personal space and have no sense regarding what they say.

Of course, I can’t generalize as each person is unique. But I believe that I speak on behalf of most of our sisters when I say that this kind of attention is unwanted. Specifically, I’m talking about repetitive pick-up lines and explicitly sexual comments. This kind of attitude is disrespectful and makes most of us feel uncomfortable. I would define unwanted attention as anything that crosses your personal boundaries.

On a different note, discussing another kind of unwanted attention is also essential. Transgender rights have improved during the past few decades, yet discrimination still happens. As such, it’s common to be confronted in some countries if someone suspects you’re a cross-dresser. None of us should go through this, so it’s a form of uttermost undesirable attention.

How to set boundaries

As mentioned, boundaries are a key to understanding what this article tries to answer. The difference between attracting unwanted attention and feeling attractive relies on that. As such, it may vary for different cross-dressers as each is unique. I don’t want this to be an overcomplicated explanation, as it doesn’t need to be. So let me keep things simple and easy to understand.

To define your boundaries, think about what would make you feel uncomfortable. What kind of comments would you like to hear from men? How would you feel if they started checking you out? What about if they hit on you? It depends on things such as your temper and sexuality. As cross-dressers, we are more likely to understand why it happens. Some of us may even like it, thinking it reassures our feminine side. Take your time to consider these scenarios and how you feel about them. This way, you’ll be able to figure out your boundaries and which ones you are willing to cross.

But in the end, after defining said boundaries, how can we avoid crossing them? We don’t have any kind of control over other people’s reactions to our appearance. But we can minimize these encounters and reduce the unwanted attention to ascertain point. After that, things tend to become more tolerable and less irritating.

The first thing to do is avoid clothing that looks too sexy. I know that many cross-dressers love them and like how they look. There’s nothing wrong with that, and that’s part of the cross-dressing experience. But this kind of thing may be inappropriate for safety reasons. It draws much attention outside, increasing your chances of being cat-called or harassed. I know that neither of these things is the victim’s fault. We should be allowed to wear whichever outfit pleases us whenever we want. But unfortunately, the aggressor will try to use that against us. Conforming to such unfair rules It’s not ideal. But that’s something we can do to protect ourselves for the time being. So avoid short miniskirts that show too much of your legs, and try not to exaggerate the cleavage.

Besides that, going out in groups is another excellent solution. If you have company, men will be much less likely to mess with you. People who harass women are often cowards who only do that if their victim is alone. They seek those who look weak and unaccompanied. as such, if you walk in a group, you have a good chance of remaining unnoticed.

Due to various factors, we associate being attractive with femininity itself. As such, cross-dressers try to feel like pretty women, following the current beauty standards. The thing is that many of us manage to do that and look quite charming as females. But with that comes unwanted attention from both bigots and sexist men. They are disrespectful towards us, crossing our boundaries and making us uncomfortable. We must learn what to expect and how to deal with this situation. Now, dressing up more discreetly or walking in groups seems to be the best solution. But I hope that in the future we’ll be able to dress up in any way we like. We shouldn’t let them stop us from looking attractive and feminine simultaneously! We do so because we want to. Our goal is not to please them but to lease ourselves. What do you think about the unwanted attention we get by looking attractive? Leave us a comment based on your thoughts or experience. We would love to read it!