Is It Possible to Quit Crossdressing?
Even though society is every day more tolerant of out-of-the-norm lifestyles. But some still think femininity in men is a sign of weakness. This is why many crossdressers feel guilt or shame to express themselves and dress up. It is also the reason why many think of quitting crossdressing.
Naturally, this question arises in the life of every crossdresser, especially if they have been doing it for a long time. Many even throw away or burn their stashes, only to buy more later on. So, is it possible to quit crossdressing? We’ll talk about the reason why many crossdress and where the guilt of crossdressing comes from. More importantly, we’ll discuss the reasons why you would like to quit. Keep reading to find out if it is possible to quit crossdressing!
1. Possible Reasons to Think of Quitting
The reason that is the mother of them all is the fear of rejection of femininity in men. From this mindset derive all the other reasons. The lack of capacity to understand this experience and the machismo engraved in most of the world’s population leads to fear of exposure and a restrained lifestyle. This is why many crossdressers think of quitting at some point. Fear of rejection, of hurting others or getting hurt, shame… The list goes on and on. Because of this, or as a sum of reasons, crossdressers tend to keep their lifestyle a secret. Let’s see some of the most common examples, I’m sure you’ll feel identified with some.
● Feeling Blame and/or Shame
In this still unripe world society we live in, it is easy to find a less than optimal environment to explore alternative lifestyles. By alternative, I mean anything that goes against the stereotype. When we are surrounded by media that demonizes and ostracizes individuals who live freely, we are conditioned to follow the stream, consciously or not. I believe this is the situation and experience of many crossdressers, trans, and non-binaries.
We do not get to explore a part of ourselves, and if we do, we do it in secret and feel guilty about it. Even though we may be right when we think our lifestyle and thoughts won’t be well-received by others, sometimes this scales and becomes a huge problem. Without stepping over others, nothing should prevent us from enjoying life however we please.
● Disapproving Growing Environment
It may be your family, friends, and partners that throughout the years have expressed disapproval regarding “breaking the norm”. This is especially hard at a young age. When your activities and where you live aren’t your decisions. If you let this take a toll on you, you won’t be able to express something that makes you feel amazing to anybody. Your relationships won’t be honest with anyone and it is very unhealthy. Once we reach adulthood, we start making our decisions and we can decide to who we relate.
Perhaps, the family part is the scariest and most difficult one. But if you have sowed honest relationships filled with and based on love, there will come a time that they understand and feel as happy as you. I believe that little by little, we can not only enjoy ourselves and our lifestyle freely but also make our environments grow a bit towards and create a more inclusive society.
● Being Bullied or Discriminated
When we are young, our classmates can make our life hell. In our adulthood, it can be work colleagues. We can also experience some kind of boycott or persecution if we express ourselves without restrictions. In the first case, for all you teens that are clutched to a fixed school, talk to your parents. Be honest with them and how unhappy this makes you feel. But this stage passes and when we start working, it can be our colleagues that make life unbearable.
Massive-scale discrimination and an intolerant society where you live are also possible. Just like many other situations in life, when there’s no change possible in the environment, one just has to deal with it and move on and away. It’s a devastating truth, but the most beautiful rose can’t thrive in the desert. One must always search for a place where one feels at home and can live without giving explanations. Having someone to trust near, is essential for every human being, and it’s reasonable we find it difficult sometimes.
2. The Reasons Why We Crossdress
It is easy to get overwhelmed with the decision of quitting crossdressing. In that state of mind, it is easy to forget to think about the reasons why we crossdress. When we see things from this perspective, it is when we realize it is not as simple as throwing everything away.
● Expressing Our Inner Femininity
Crossdressing is embedded in our brains just as everything else we enjoy or like. A big part of us adapted to the environment in which we live. This reflects in the manner we relate with others day-to-day and how we express ourselves. But there’s another part of us that lives independently, and it is not molded by the outside. Just like we can’t choose to like chocolate, it is impossible to enjoy feeling feminine by choice. We must interiorize and understand this before we move on. Crossdressing is the gateway to experimenting with femininity within ourselves free from the norm. When we start walking down this path, we discover many new emotions and activities we enjoy. In time we find out new aspects of crossdressing and the feminine lifestyle that we love.
● Fashion and Clothes
Putting the dress in crossdress, who doesn’t love feminine clothes? One of the main reasons we enjoy this is because of the many different cute and sexy outfits we can wear. Feminine clothes and delicate fabrics awaken quite several pleasuring sensations in us. This, combined with the freedom we feel at that moment is hard to struggle against.
Men’s fashion is so ridiculously repetitive and boring. It’s easy to be intrigued with women’s clothes and want to wear them. Society should eradicate this obsolete taboo from its mindset to grow once and for all.
● Sexual and Gender Expression
When we explore our inner femininity, we may find along the way that we find new sides to our gender or sexuality. Crossdressing helps face these experiences and confusing feelings with ease and pleasure. Free from taboos and shame, it’s a very healthy activity that shouldn’t be repressed in children or anybody. Exploring and getting to know oneself, is something that we all should do at some point. I think that the crossdressing experience accelerates many parts of this process. Makes us realize many things about ourselves that we wouldn’t have faced otherwise.
3. But… Do We Really Want to Quit?
When a particular time comes in our lives when we think that we can’t keep doing it, many think, or even get to throw away their stashes and quit for a while. After doing so most, if not all, find the urge to feel feminine sooner or later again and start crossdressing again. Only to start their closet from the ground up once again, spending lots of money in the process. Is it necessary that we quit? When the heat is on and our brains are not functioning clearly, we underestimate our own feelings and desires.
We rush into a hasty decision only to regret it afterward because we are negating a big part within us. Are we being left alone because of our crossdressing? If so, is it worth it to keep that person in our lives or care about? Can we really tolerate that kind of “love”? I think we would be better off with someone that loves us for who we are to share our lives.
Are we being left out by society because of our crossdressing? Some of us live in very traditional societies where gender roles are clearly defined. When someone takes this drastic decision usually it is because of the influence of peers. Not because they are done with crossdressing and can’t find joy in it anymore. But rather because they are afraid of being able to safely enjoy the experience or have a place in society and work life. Acceptance within society is something we do not only need but also work in our social circles in any way we can. Only this way we may be able to enjoy a more inclusive world in the future. We must learn to respect others, but not be defined or conditioned by them.
Can we forget all about crossdressing? Are we the same when we aren’t wearing makeup or feminine clothes? Can we get rid of such a natural and important side of ourselves? Personally, with a little insight knowledge, I think not a chance. We must accept ourselves to love and live happily. Find a way within your possibilities to enjoy crossdressing. I believe that it is the best use of your time. Come out to a friend or your partner. Make new friends online with whom you can share tips and experiences.
Try to build a new social circle around things you like and you will realize that living freely is closer than you think. There are some hard decisions in every crossdresser’s life, but negating oneself is unacceptable. Why would you quit something you like and love? It doesn’t hurt and it’s a healthy way to discover yourself.
4. Some Final Thoughts
The reasons why crossdressers choose this lifestyle can vary, but not that much. In general, the need to feel feminine and do activities traditionally aimed at women comes with us at birth. I don’t want to delve into the nature versus nurture debate, but we can’t deny how natural is the urge for us to express femininity through crossdressing. We must ask ourselves if we are doing it healthily and if it’s causing trouble for us or any third parties. Because of the strong feelings that crossdressing produces, we can forget how we affect others.
Being critical of oneself is key to thinking clearly about making any changes. Also, we must evaluate how we are carrying this lifestyle. Loving something is OK, obsessing over it is not much. If you feel continuing to crossdress is taking a toll on your life, analyze the reasons why. It can be wise to contact a professional to help you sort these feelings out.
As you can see, you are not alone and we all go through similar situations. Thinking of quitting crossdressing is a common concern within the community. Talking with any crossdresser will make you realize that even if you can quit, it can be something you don’t want to do. What about you? Have you ever gone through something like this? Can you think of any other reason anyone would want to either quit or keep crossdressing? Let me know in the comments below. Hope you find this article helpful and fun. See you all soon!
Written by Tina Munova.
Tagged With：Stop Cross Dressing , What Triggers Cross Dressing
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I crossdress to have sex with men and to masterbate while videotaping and to watch myself in the mirror .
Sometimes want to quit because it gets obsessive, addictive, takes hours of sleep to navigate crossdresser ig and sites of all sorts…can hurt ourselves in taht sense
Tina, I knew that I had girly tendancies when I was four years old. Although, I didn’t understand them or have any idea where they would ultimately take me. All I knew is that I got very excited when I saw our neighbor’s daughter in her red satin panties and pretty pink night gowns, and her mother on the few occasions that I saw her in her matching white and black lace trimmed matching bra and panty sets.
We lived in a rural area and there were no boys for me to play with so I played with our neighbor’s daughter. I enjoyed it tremendously and loved all the things about femininity that I learned from her. Fortunately, as I got older, I managed to find ways to earn money and while it was never a lot, I would often save all or part of it so that I could buy some panties, bra’s, and night gowns. Fortunately, I knew a middle aged woman that worked for a local department store. She was very helpful in making it possible for me to develop a sizeable lingerie wardrobe. She thought helping me purchase lingerie for myself and my feminine desires were really cute.
I became a master at hiding them and would wait for everyone in our household to go to sleep each night and when they did,I would slip into them. Each time I did, I immediately fell into immediate ecstacy! As I got older, I began adding garter belts, a variety of stockings, baby dolls, teddies, chemises, slips, and of course more panties and bra’s.
Interestingly enough, throughout my life women have frequently told me things like “you are a girl”, “you should be a girl”, and asked “are you sure you aren’t a girl? Obviously, my feminine nature was very clear and easy to see.
When I was ten years old, the mother of a very cute girl that lived a few houses down the street told me that she was going to take me in her house and pit me in a pair of pretty panties and a matching bra, and a cute dress. She also told me that she would style my long curly hair and apply my makeup.
By the time I became an adult, I had accumulated the largest collection of panties,.bra’s, and lingerie I had ever owned, and had started to invest in skirts, really cute tops, dresses, medium high healed shoes and flats, slips, etc. I also purchased a couple really cute high quality wigs.
I eventually got married and at the same time, re-kindled a long held interest that I had in men. I absolutely loved the thought of a man taking me in his arms while I am wearing a beautiful white wedding dress, with my hair perfectly styled, and my makeup being flawless, while I had on white ruffled panties, a beautiful white matching bra, gartet belt, and stockings, while taking me to bed and making mad passionate love to me.
As the years passed, my feminine urges grew ever stronger, and my interest in men continued to grow. As a Christian, I wanted to do what I thought was right so that I could please God and be faithful to my wife. I prayed constantly that God would take my feminine leanings from me as I wasn’t strong enough to shed them on my own. So, I decided that my only hope was to purge all of my feminine wardrobe, panties, bra’s, lingerie, dresses, skirts, tops, shoes, makeup, all of it.
The first day, when I had to put on those ugly cave man looking men’s cotton tighty whitey underwear was bad enough. By day three, I was going out of my mind at the overwhelming strength of my feminine cravings and my disgust of wearing men’s ugly cotton underwear. By the middle of the second week, I was back in the retail and lingerie stores restocking my female wardrobe, and I haven’t stopped since.
And as for my sexual cravings for men, I made my wife aware that I am bisexual, but am remaining faithful to her. I feel that is the right thing to do given that we exchanged vows.
The moral of the story for me, and I think my life and love of femininity is fairly typical of what most transgendered women experience with the exception of how they were first exposed to it, is that I was destined to become feminine due to the constant feminine influences around me, and the incredible sense of ecstacy that I personally experienced when I slipped into something girly.
I did not ask for this; and it is not some kind of perversion that I readily adopted. It was thrust upon me by forces beyond my control and it has become one of the most enjoyable parts of my life.
Like the overwhelming majority of transgender women, I absolutely do not have the super human strength, willlpower, and determination required to purge my wardrobe again and hope that I could somehow give up my feminine life. If you are a transgendered woman, I would strongly encourage you to place your feminine wardrobe into storage as opposed to discarding it if you ever feel the need to give up your feminine life. I’m confident that one day very soon after you make that decision, you will quickly come to regret it and feel the overwhelming desire to return to being the beautiful woman that is just waiting for you to let her out.
My thoughts on stopping crossdressing is that it is virtually impossible to stop. At first when the thought of wearing girls clothes entered my mind at around age 13 I did not understand the significance it would play in my life. I was fascinated with my mother’s panties, nylons, garter belts and of course dresses. In my later teen years I was so angry and embarrassed by these recurring thoughts I thought of nothing but hating myself. The urges would go away for awhile but they always returned. I found myself stealing panties and nylons from my neighbors yard. Of course I followed the strategy of purging like so many. Of course when I did it I thought I would go back to my normal everyday self but it obviously didn’t last very long. Like everyone else I repurchased everything I threw away and learned the hard lesson of the cost of doing so. My story is not unique in anyway. I can only speak for myself of course but I found the word acceptance was the only way for me to be comfortable with myself in ways that I tried earlier with disastrous results. I am now living with a lot less anxiety and depression. All I can say is that I feel much happier with myself. I would like to add that my empathy for others has increased to sky high levels, being a much better listener and more willing to help in and around the house. I can just say one thing and that is enjoy the journey. This is my story only. Everyone I say is just get the most happiness out of your life that you can. Bless you all.
I came to crossdressimg late, in my early 50s. Not entirely sure what triggered it. Maybe the pandemic as I was at home 24/7 watching telly and for the first time in my life really noticing what women newsreaders etc wear/use of colour etc. I paid mortgage off at this time and lost all ‘drive’be it male sexual urges, career aspirations or sporting competitiveness.
So all these things came together and somehow i started to crossdress, and to my surprise seemed to be quite good at it. To the extent i was able both to go out shopping en femme and to a bar to meet a man on a date. Yes, my sexuality seems to change as well whenever I present as female
BUT today I am a month without cross dressing and so far am comfortable with my decision to stop..it wasnt guilt, it wasnt shame, it just became clear to me that i wasnt going to be able to take it to the next level. Being married, with elderly parents, and adult children returning to live at home, amd a change in my job role meaning almost an end to my working away overnight all combine to mean my dressing was always going to be rushed and sub-optimal. And as such, the need to do it was in danger of becoming reckless rather than a source of pleasure.
Stopping dressing has almost become a self-preservation thing. I was in danger of threing everyhring away for 60 mins of clandestine dressing a week.or the potenial meet in a hotel with a stranger and possibly a dangerous man.
I was pretty. I went out in public. I was intImate with a man. All.of this I achieved. But I.am not trans, or gender dysphoric and without professional help, or hormones I want ever going to want to go any further.
I am at peace, for now.
I don’t want to quite but at the same time I don’t want to lose my family, my wife has no intimacy with me at all
and states she would rather I didn’t cross dress
My daughter states she has friends that are gay bisexual and cross dress so is fine with it
but will never talk about it with me
My friend who has a gay son and daughter just says I should leave them as its not making me happy