How to Handle Advances From Men When Crossdressed

There are a lot of advances when you crossdress. You’ve probably noticed how guys can be forward with their compliments. A lot of men think that being crossdressed automatically means that we are putting ourselves out there. But this isn’t true! We crossdress for ourselves, period! Some genuinely mean well and find you attractive, but there’s always that guy who has no intention of winning your heart and just ends up being creepy or causing trouble for you. It’s hard to detect when someone is genuine. And some men cannot grasp the concept of “no” and rejection. 

The best way to respond to advances varies from crossdresser to crossdresser. Because realistically speaking, although many of the available responses may work for others, not everything will work across the board. You might find yourself in an unsolicited casual encounter simply because he is persistent. We all know how difficult it is to say “no” when someone is just so pushy, knocking on our door and not taking a hint. However, we must be firm! But also, kind. And make sure that he takes the message in earnest! If a man comes up to you and wants to make a pass at you, be very clear in your response! Do not be afraid to use body language to reflect your disinterest; this is an essential tool you can use to ward off unwanted advances.

If you feel uncomfortable, don’t be afraid to leave and ensure you’re never alone with him! It’s important to remember that no matter how flattering an advance may seem, you should never go with someone you don’t trust! Have you ever felt creeped out but didn’t know how to tell if someone’s actually a creeper? What if they could be totally nice and normal, but something just doesn’t seem right about them? Let’s dive deeper into how to deal with unwanted advances from men.

1. How to spot an advance

As an MtF crossdresser, you’re probably used to getting attention. Whether it’s on the streets, in a park or bars, men are instantly going to try and make a move on you. Some advances could be flattering, but others could be unsettling. Anything unwanted can be considered an “advance” under the term of definition, which applies on an individual basis. Unwanted advances can be considered when one either consciously or unconsciously ignores the other’s non-verbal cues and communicates their romantic interest. Simply put, they disregard that you are not reciprocating any feelings of attraction.

An unwanted advance from a man may include being hit on in a creepy way, or receiving communication despite being rejected several times. In today’s society, men have the tendency to make advances toward an attractive feminine figure by often being persistent. Sometimes they might not even notice you are an Mtf crossdresser.

There’s a difference between being persistent and being overbearing – especially in the case of men approaching crossdressers. While persistence can be greatly valued if a situation lends itself to it, it is eventually perceived as creepy and potential harassment if advances are unwanted or incessant.

2. What to do if you’re not interested

When you are walking out about and you sense an advance from a man, do not panic! First, take a deep breath and remain calm. Here are some helpful tips on how to handle that situation. The first thing you should do is pay attention to their behavior. If you’re comfortable with them or welcome the attention, it is totally okay to respond. It’s important to always be safe and take care of yourself. However, if you decline but still they persist, it’s a whole other story.

Don’t let your guard down or ignore any kind of unwanted advances. You need to draw the line and stand your ground. Otherwise, the man making advances might keep pushing on you even more and will continue doing this in the future with other crossdressers. These things need to be addressed sooner rather than later if you don’t want them to escalate any further so as to avoid possible long-term repercussions. No matter what, do not resolve to violence.

If a guy starts to make romantic advances toward you, but you’re just out to have fun crossdressing, then pay no attention to him. Your primary focus should be on keeping a cool head and making a quick escape. Try to walk past the person as peacefully and quickly as possible. If he follows you, then stop and say, “Go away” or “Please leave me alone,” with a firm voice. If the man still continues to bother you or make you feel uncomfortable, then don’t be afraid to talk back. Also try to get help. In parting, tell him that you don’t appreciate him coming onto you like that. If you must, tell him you’re not interested.

3. How to say no

If you have never been in this situation, try to imagine a scenario where a man you don’t know approaches you and asks for your number. Could be he probably got carried away by your flawless crossdressing. This is something I’ve encountered several times as a crossdresser. I react by telling them no, but not in a rude tone. I don’t usually go into detail about why I’m not interested, but this is not always the best move. Not being confident could lead to the person simply asking again, persistently.

The best way to say no is to have confidence in yourself and be firm. If you’re in public with friends, there could be a chance they’ll come to your rescue or at least assist in distracting the him. If you’re alone, try to remain calm and don’t feel like you need to scream or do something that might alert others to your situation. A simple “no thank you” will suffice.

“I just can’t. I’m sorry”. These are the things to say if you find yourself in such situations. While you may feel pressured to go along with a guy’s advances for a date, you must stand your ground and protect yourself. You need to be ready with a response! If he is polite and respectful, then it shouldn’t be a problem. The best thing you can say is, “Thank you, but I’m not interested. If he doesn’t understand, tell him repeatedly. Either way, you have to make sure you don’t encourage a situation that you cant handle. If you don’t want to explain, then simply stick to your, “I’m not interested.”

4. What to do if the person doesn’t take no for an answer

When you say no to such advances from a guy, they sometimes will not accept it. When this happens, you have to continue to say no, but put it in a polite way. If a man is still harassing you persistently, it’s important that you know how to handle it. First, be kind and don’t antagonize the person. Confront him head-on. Tell him that you’re not interested and kindly ask him to leave you alone. If they don’t leave you alone, think about your safety and try to get the closest help possible. Say it in person and make it clear that you don’t want them to contacting or talking to you again.

Another good option might be for you to step away and contact the authorities. It’s also a good idea to take a picture of what they look like and keep it in your phone’s photo album.

5. How to deal with harassment

Harassment is never OK, yet it still happens all too often. It’s important to remember that you get to decide what feels safest to you. Being an mtF crossdresser is fun but it also comes with challenges; challenges like harassment that traditional women have to deal with. Use any kind of help you need at any given moment when dealing with harassment in any form. The more informed we all are about what options there are for responding, the better we can be at making sure everyone can feel safe and empowered when crossdressing. There isn’t one ‘size fits all best way to respond to every harassment encounter, and the harassed crossdresser is the only one who can decide their course of action in any given situation, since it will be different from the next.

The harasser is probably really fixated on the idea that you are with him. Show assertiveness and strength, but by using your body language, facial expressions, and voice without mixed signals. First, look directly at the harasser. Speak in a strong, clear voice to show no fear. Be assertive and confident. Don’t give off an air of uncertainty by slouching or looking down. Make sure your facial expressions show firmness and resolve so that your message is not misunderstood as you communicate clearly what does or does not meet with your approval. As mentioned, if you feel you are being harassed, it is best to report it to the proper authorities. If it is an ongoing issue, it is best to report it right away. Reports will help prevent future problems.

It’s crucial to recognize that we crossdressers have the power to turn down advances from men in the event that we do not wish to be involved romantically. We have a say in what we want and who we wish to be with. When receiving advances from men, one should remain calm, reiterate that you aren’t interested, and then kindly make your exit if necessary.