How to Feel More Confident About Your Body Type and Height

Male-to-female crossdressers and transgender women face many similar issues. What makes them not confident?

One of them is their body image. They suffer as all sorts of expectations and beauty standards are imposed on them.

All of them are associated with the idealized notion of femininity.

And not corresponding to them may cause severe gender dysphoria.

Height and weight are two of the most common causes of this sort of feeling.

As such, there are heavily imposed standards regarding these characteristics.

You must accept yourself and break free from the expectations.

Make sure you do some encouraging activities that validate you.

Cosplay, regular dress-ups, and even a little research may help you overcome that.

But in some cases, if you feel you’re suffering from severe dimorphism, therapy may be required.

And it may be either through a psychologist or hormone replacement therapy (HRT).

Either way, chances are that you don’t know where to start.

With that in mind, I’ll introduce you to the most common causes of this kind of feeling.

And after that, I’ll teach you how to avoid them from now on.

But if you’re reading this, you may already be affected by this pressure.

So, I’ll give you some tips on how to deal with it and what to do to build more confidence in your image.

1. What caused them not to be confident?

As I’ve said, this lack of confidence is caused by the pressure you suffer to match feminine beauty standards.

Cisgender women suffer that in their daily lives as well.

But this kind of pressure is even bigger towards crossdressers and trans women.

That’s because society expects them to match all of these standards if they are to be considered feminine.

Not following these imposed rules may lead to society rejecting or invalidating us.

I know it’s a harsh kind of discrimination and that it shouldn’t happen.

But even though society is evolving for the better, this kind of bigotry still happens a lot.

From an early age, we are exposed to normative propaganda and learn that girls should look girly in a certain way.

We are shown patterns and beauty standards that dictate what is to be considered feminine.

And as we don’t match these parameters naturally, we pursue them by all means, with a lot of dedication and expectations.

But the truth is we are unlikely to reach said results, and they only exist as a means of discrimination or marketing.

This exposure may last our entire lives.

We keep seeing these standards as our goals and start to think we aren’t feminine enough without matching them.

If it ever happens to you, you may feel like all effort is useless and that you won’t ever match your desired weight or height.

This kind of feeling may lead you to depression and anxiety, which reduces your confidence.

2. Dealing with it through acceptance

It’s not always easy to accept who we are or to be happy with our appearance.

But then again, most people suffer from this same lack of confidence.

Before everything else, you must try to accept yourself for who you are.

You must understand that these beauty and femininity standards are just that – Standards!

They are made as idealized concepts and impossible to achieve for most people.

And by most people, I meant almost everyone.

I know; there are a few lucky cats out there. But they are the exception to the rule.

People come in all shapes and sizes. You have your own, which makes you unique.

Tall and short women exist, as well as chubby and skinny ones.

The idealized standards lie somewhere in between, a thin line that excludes the vast majority of women.

You must set yourself free from this kind of illusion.

A non-idealized cisgender woman is way more likely to look like you than to resemble those standards.

Accept your singularity, as it makes you as valid as any other girl.

3. Activities that may make you more confident

Acceptance takes time, and you may struggle with it for a while.

So, during this time, you may practice a few activities to help you build confidence.

My goal here is to introduce you to some of such activities, and I hope you find some of them useful.

Dress up more often.

The more you dress up, the more you get familiar with the idea of being feminine.

It helps you to get used to your feminine appearance and to perceive yourself as such.

I can argue that cross-dressing is, by itself, an affirmative activity and that it helps you build more confidence.

If you dress up as often as possible, you may become more comfortable with your overall appearance.

Try cosplay

Cosplaying a character that resembles your figure may be a good idea.

It helps you to feel represented and perceived positively.

I know that characters from a few decades ago used to be forced into beauty standards.

But nowadays, you may find a variety of body types in shows, video games, and movies.

It includes short, tall, chubby, and skinny characters. Even characters of different gender identities.

If you need some inspiration, try shows like the new She-Ra (2018) or Steven Universe (2013).

If you’re more into games, you may relate to characters from The Last of Us Part 2 (2020) and Assassin’s Creed Odyssey (2018).

Focus on body-positive media.

If you feel that cosplaying is not a hobby for you, you may simply focus on media that have a good representation of real average body types.

The titles I’ve mentioned above are still valid recommendations, but you may find more mainstream evidence as well.

The good news is that it’s becoming more common to see realistic body standards on TV recently.

Some famous examples are “The Tall Girl” (2019) and “Gilmore Girls” (2000 – 2007).

4. Focus on other aspects of your appearance

By changing what kind of media you consume, you may reduce the amount of propaganda which you’re exposed to.

It may, as a result, increase your confidence and help you understand that a variety of body types exist.

But it’s okay if you’re still insecure about the two aspects we’ve been discussing here.

So, please think of this possibility; I have this one other tip to mention in case you still haven’t accepted yourself.

What you have to do is to focus on the other details of your overall appearance.

Weight and height are the two most difficult aspects to change about ourselves.

Shapewear may improve your silhouette, and makeup conceals imperfections in your facial features.

You can feminize almost anything else about your appearance with practice and effort and get close to the desired standards.

But there’s not much you can do about how tall you are.

Losing or gaining weight, on the other hand, is possible but takes a lot of time and effort to be done healthily.

With that in mind, try to focus on the rest while contemplating your image, especially if you’ve been cross-dressing for a while.

If you do that, you may see that you look way more feminine than you thought.

Noticing this kind of detail helps a lot to improve your confidence and acceptance.

However, it’s common to struggle to notice them.

If you feel down, dress up, take some pictures of yourself, and send them to someone you trust.

Ask for some feedback about your appearance, and in most cases, you’ll have a positive surprise.

5. Recurring to therapy

Self-acceptance takes time, and expectations come from multiple sources.

In the meantime, you may come across several advertisements that will let you down, as intensive propaganda is hard to avoid.

It’s a huge problem within our society, and there’s no shame in admitting that it affects you.

Notice that long exposure to this kind of pressure may cause you to develop some disorders.

If you feel that the pursuit of these standards has become some sort of obsession, seek professional help.

If you don’t, it may develop into a serious case of anxiety, depression, or even bulimia.

What you need to do is seek a therapist to help you overcome these issues.

You must prioritize your well-being, and this kind of support may be the key to that.

Now, you may come across several types of therapy to solve your problem.

The most common one is the help from a psychologist or psychiatrist.

They shall address what’s causing you to feel down and help you understand your actual value.

This image therapy aims to free you from the pressure of expectations and beauty standards altogether.

Hormonal therapy, on the other hand, aims to feminize you even more and may help you to feel more comfortable with your body.

However, this last one has a more permanent effect and is recommended for trans women rather than crossdressers.

You must understand that the problem itself is not your height or your weight.

The actual issue is what society expects you to look like.

Beauty and femininity standards are imposed onto you, but it’s not your obligation to match them.

Be yourself, and try to consume less propaganda.

It may help you to see your true potential and how unique you are.

And that’s what makes you beautiful and valid as a woman.

Do you perceive how these standards are fed to us in many ways?

Tell us in the comments below what you think about it!

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