How To Tell Your Partner You Crossdress

Crossdressing is a habit that is still far from normalized nowadays, despite a more tolerant culture. Even though there is evidence of crossdressers throughout history, it is still a ‘’taboo’’ for some.

Fear of the unknown, uncertainty, anger and sometimes ignorance may drive certain people to misunderstand the feelings going through a crossdresser’s mind. And all of this is definitely more intense when it comes to your significant other.

Check what Yoya Fabulosa say about coming out as a crossdresser.

Revealing something this intimate to your couple might mean a stressful moment, to say the least. In this article below, I will give you a few tips to prepare yourself and the time to talk about your crossdressing with your partner. Although sometimes it may be hard, honest communication with your couple is essential to develop a healthy relationship.

If you want to talk about your crossdressing to your significant other and don’t know how I encourage you to read this post in which I’ll detail the basics DOs and DON’Ts for that moment. Let me accompany you on this journey, and I wish you all the luck in the world!

1. Understanding your partner’s feelings

Every person is different from the others, but we are all humans. We cannot forget this. With this in mind, we must be aware of how we feel, how we communicate these feelings to others, and how they affect them.

This is even more relevant when it comes to our partner. Communication and love are key to a healthy relationship and if you crossdress, you likely want to share this part of yourself with your couple. But as I said before, it is a very important moment in which you must be sure of your feelings and how you will tell your SO.

You will need quiet time to connect with your couple to talk about it. You can’t expect the perfect moment to tell her/him as this may never occur, but you can soothe things up. A relaxing moment when you can talk uninterrupted for at least a couple of hours should be ok to start with.

If you and your partner love each other, talking with an open mind and heart will surely get to understand each other. That doesn’t mean she/he will enjoy this habit or will find it sexy at all, and you must understand this as well. It may take some time before your SO processes this idea fully. But it also may be impossible for her/him, a dealbreaker, and that’s a possibility that we must also address. First, I will list some basic NOT to dos oriented to respect your partner and prevent shocking her/him to turn the odds in your favor.

2. Some basics Not To-Dos

● No surprises

What do I mean by no surprises? Well, DO NOT leave photos of you crossdressed or clothes for her/him to find and DO NOT get into your partner’s wardrobe. And DO NOT, by any means, plan for her/him to find you while fully crossdressed without prior warning.

This will make your SO’s feel betrayed and make her/him think she/he doesn’t know you, when that may not be true. If your couple finds women’s clothes she/he may think you are being unfaithful, which is not a great starting point.

● No pressures

You can’t expect your partner to understand your crossdressing and enjoy it immediately. And the longer you wait to spit it out, the harder and more dramatic the situation will be. If you wait many years, your SO will find it more difficult to comprehend how you kept this to yourself all this time. But then again, with honest love, time, communication, and patience, you will be able to share your feelings, which brings me to the next point

3. Be sure and honest about your feelings

By no means an easy task, before you talk about it, you must be honest with yourself and your feelings. Even if you have doubts regarding your sexuality or any other thing, you will have to come to terms with anything that’s on your mind. This will allow you to speak from the bottom of your heart and make it easier for the other person to understand.

You will need to be clear about how you feel when you crossdress and how it started so your partner can begin to see your point of view. You should also tell her/him why you do it, even though you may not have a fully elaborated answer. But you must be clear and tell her/him about how you want to share this part of yourself and find the answer with her/him by your side.

4. Some basics Dos

● Take your time

When you are ready to speak with your couple about your crossdressing, you must take your time to talk to each other. And it is of utter importance that you do so without distractions and a rush. When you talk, you must keep calm and be receptive to your SO’s feelings as you expect her/him to do the same. Do it when you are most relaxed, at your home on a weekend, on a trip just the two of you. The important thing here is that you take all the time that you need, especially if it is the first time you are talking about it.

● Be subtle and take it slow

A great way to introduce the subject is by joking around about how funny or different things would be if you and your partner were to change clothes. Or if you would have to wear each other’s costumes for Halloween.

An innocent commentary may help you see how your SO feels about it. Once the idea is out on the table, patience with your partner’s feelings is key.

Of course, each person is unique and has its own way to express themselves and comprehend the world around them. That is why it is impossible to make a foolproof guide since you are the most likely to understand and love your partner more than anyone else.

Be patient and love your partner as you want to be loved and you will be taking all the right choices to find renewed happiness together. But in case this doesn’t happen and your significant other can’t get her/his head around your crossdressing, it might be the symptom of some other underlying issue that may require professional couples’ therapy.

If that’s the situation, everything written here remains true nonetheless. Remember why you started dating your partner and how you fell in love with her/him. Extend the understanding that you were expecting but unfortunately didn’t receive, and time will give you chances to try again and learn from it and grow.

Be prepared to have long talks with your partner in the following weeks, months and probably years. You have to think that when you were dating or married, your couple got to know and fall in love with all the little things that make you, YOU. And that is where the emphasis should be. Even though she/he still has to meet a whole other side of you, it is still part of yourself, the person she/he loves.

Getting to share this experience and feelings with your significant other will deepen the bond between the two of you and will open up countless possibilities for both. The mere fact that you can talk about your desire to crossdress with her/him will make you grow as a couple and it shows how deep you care and how trustworthy you are. If you put your heart to it, I’m sure you’ll find a way to work it out. Remember always to handle things with the love, respect and understanding you hope to receive.

Summing up, find (and create) the perfect time for you and your couple to talk about your crossdressing, avoid any shocking situations and be prepared to listen to her/him. And above all, always be patient and remind your partner of the mutual love you have shared so far.

Before I leave you, my dearies, I want to congratulate you for thinking about confessing your crossdressing to your SO and wish you all the luck of the world. My love and patience thrive between the two of you. I hope I was of some help if anything at all to you. I would like to know how you feel about coming out to your partner in the comments. Did you tell her/him already about your crossdressing? How did it go? Do you have any other piece of advice that would be helpful for someone in this situation? Let’s leave some love in the comments for all the crossdressers! Hope to see you all very soon!

Written by Tina Munova

Learn More>>

How and When to Tell Your Potential Partner about Your Mtf Crossdressing

Factors to Consider Before Coming Out as a Transgender

The Process of Coming Out as a Transgender