How to Explain to Your Family Why You Crossdress

Sometimes, being a crossdresser means living part of your life in secret. And often, that’s an important part of your life.  So, how to confess to your family that you’re a crossdresser?

There are a lot of taboos, misconceptions, and discrimination tied to this term, and sometimes it makes us ashamed of who we are.

As a result, it’s difficult to come out, as we are afraid people will judge us.

This kind of situation may prevent you from experiencing the best parts of being a crossdresser.

You need to help your family to get rid of the misconceptions.

They need to understand what makes you a crossdresser and why it is important to you.

Make sure you make everything as clear as possible.

With that in mind, I’ll give you a few tips on how to talk to them.

After that, I hope you’ll know what to tell them and what to research.

1. Take note of key terms

While explaining something to someone, you need to know what you’re talking about.

The only way to get rid of a taboo is through comprehension and understanding.

It is what breaks discrimination and makes you more acceptable to other people.

So, to explain it and make things as clear as possible, you must familiarize yourself with some terms.

You may start by explaining the term “crossdressing” itself.

Tell them that all it means is that you like to dress up in women’s clothes.

Focus on telling them how inoffensive such activity is and that it doesn’t change who you are as a person.

However, if you consider yourself to be a trans person, explain to them what that means.

You need to explain how you feel about your gender identity and what makes you feel like that.

With that in mind, some key terms for you are “body dysmorphism,” “gender identity,” and “gender expression.”

To simplify things, you can say that your gender identity defines how or what you identify as.

Body dysmorphism means that you are not comfortable with your body and the way you look, as it doesn’t match your desired gender expression.

Now, gender expression is the way you’re perceived and includes both your outfits and physical appearance.

2. Tell them the truth

Lies are almost always discovered within weeks.

If you lie about why you dress up, chances are that you’ll get caught and labeled as a liar.

Besides that, the fact that you are trying to hide your intentions may lead them to believe you’re doing something wrong.

Make sure you express how you feel and that you’re dressing up as a woman because you like to do so.

Or, if you’re trans, tell them that this is your true self.

Coming clean about your intentions and motivations is a way to show them that there’s nothing wrong with being a crossdresser.

After all, you are not hurting anyone and are just being yourself. It’s your liberty, which shouldn’t be taken away from you.

However, I should note that if your motivations are solely related to a kink or fetish, it would be wise to commit this part.

Not everyone is comfortable with talking about sexual themes, and you could end up in a pretty awkward situation.

But then again, don’t lie either. Tell them it’s something that gives you joy.

3. Make them more familiar with this idea

Before revealing it to them, if you have a chance, try to familiarize your family and loved ones with this idea.

Bring up the debate about trans people, gender normativeness, and other relevant stuff.

It makes them more susceptible to accepting you when you do come out.

If you have a trans or crossdressing friend who already came out, you can use them as an excuse to bring this subject into the discussion.

Ask them what they think, and tell them that you think it’s normal and valid.

This kind of conversation does a lot to educate your relatives, making them more tolerant and open to dialogue.

That’s why I say that comprehension is the key to disrupting discrimination and intolerance.

Once they understand that crossdressing doesn’t affect your personality, you’re a step closer to a happy ending.

4. Always have a backup plan

Not all of us are lucky enough to succeed in making our family more tolerant.

If you feel that you’re not quite there yet and fear someone is close to finding out you crossdress, a backup plan will come in handy.

Talk to friends you know would support you, or reach out to social assistance departments related that help queer people.

Explain your situation and analyze the options they give you, using them as a backup plan.

As much as we prepare ourselves, we can never guess the reactions of our relatives when they find out.

Something unexpected may happen, so it’s good to have somewhere to go in case something goes wrong.

There’s nothing wrong with being a crossdresser, but intolerant people don’t see things that way.

Before coming out, you need to know the best approach to explain who you are and why you dress up like that.

Be patient and take your time, but make sure you make everything as clear as possible.

To increase your chances of acceptance, you must try to make them more open to accepting it.

And you achieve that through comprehension and understanding.

Did you ever talk to your family about crossdressing?

Tell us more about your approach in the comments below, and let us know how you’ve managed to open up!

Learn More：

How to Explain Cross Dressing to Parents