What to Do if My Son Crossdresses?

Welcome back, friends! For today’s update, I will be writing about a sensitive topic: What to do if you find out that your son crossdresses.

Given the community that follows this blog regularly, I suppose that I’m preaching to the choir.

But if by any chance you found this article while looking for help on the Internet, you have come to the right place.

Statistics show that roughly 10% of men have confessed that they like crossdressing or that they wore “women’s clothes” at least once.

If you add to that number those who had never confessed to anyone that they crossdress, the percentage would be around 25% in a conservative scenario.

Below, we are going to analyze what those reasons could be.

In other words, one out of every four men crossdresses or has done so in the past.

In this article, we are going to talk about what you should do if you are a parent and find out that your son is crossdressing.

If you are wondering what any of it means and how you can help him, keep reading!

1. Finding Out Your Son Crossdresses

As we have seen, crossdressing among men is very common.

If you have a male son, there is a great chance that at some point in his life he experiments with feminine clothes.

This can happen at any age. Some may start showing preference as early as they can speak, while others may develop this interest during their teen years.

As they discover their sexuality, they may want to express a more feminine side to it, and clothes are just one of the many ways in which it is possible to do so.

You may be wondering what this means.

I’m not going to delve too much into “What gender your son may be attracted to?” because it’s not the point of this article. Neither should that matter.

LOVE IS LOVE. It may seem counterintuitive, but many men who crossdress are attracted to biological women.

The fact that your son likes to dress in feminine clothes has nothing to do with his sexual preference.

So, if you find out that your son is crossdressing, don’t rush to any biased conclusions.

The first but perhaps hardest thing to do is to understand his motives to accompany him in the best way possible.

Besides, there are many ways in which the secret might be “exposed.”

Depending on the way it happens, you can read different signs that may help you understand better.

Let’s see some of the most probable ways in which the secret can come out, what the reasons could be, and how you can accompany your son and react in the best way possible in each scenario.

2. The Reasons for Crossdressing

Answers to the question of “why does someone crossdress?” are vast and vary.

There may be a reason for each person that does.

It is a form of a game, it is part of our identity, it is a way to connect with some particular feelings…

The list goes on and on, but if there’s a common answer among crossdressers is that it feels good and brings them serenity, just like listening to music or enjoying a cup of coffee.

It doesn’t necessarily mean anything ulterior. There may be, but it is not always the case.

I believe that it is key that everyone first understands this fact to move forward.

If you know that your son is crossdressing, the last thought that should cross your mind is that there is something wrong with him.

It is perfectly healthy for him to experiment with his boy image.

Some may do it in more traditional ways, but it is natural for all human beings to do so as part of growing up.

3. The Moment of the Truth

The way that you find out that your son is crossdressing is important.

If he comes out straight at you, congratulations, you have raised a very brave kid.

Even if it is true that each day, the fight for inclusion is making advancements, there’s much to do yet.

The majority of the world has a defined set of gender roles for each sex.

Masculinity is not well received by women as well, and femininity by men is often seen as a sign of weakness.

This mindset forces most kids to hide the fact they crossdress.

They are most likely to make a sense out of it for themselves.

Because of this, coming straight out is not only a sign of bravery but also of trust and love.

With this simple gesture, he is inviting you into his life and heart.

If you love your son, your duty as a parent is to accompany him no matter what.

Please keep an open mind free of judgment and talk with him.

In this scenario, the odds are that you will find it difficult at first to have a conversation with him without letting your prejudices get the best of you.

It may take some time, but eventually, you two will be able to be on the same page. Communication is the key.

4. Unsuspected Surprise

Due to these “standards,” many kids and teens are likely afraid to share how they feel in case of a negative response.

This is true in most cases. This brings the question, “If you have found out that your son is crossdressing, how did you?”.

Surely, I’m a little late in telling you what to do if you catch him while doing so.

If you kept your cool without overreacting, you were off to a good start.

Saying things in the heat of the moment in such an unfamiliar situation is hardly a wise choice.

If the events unfold in such a way, once your thoughts are calmed, you should at least try to strike the conversation up.

Fear and shame are two feelings that are very hard to overcome, in particular as a teen.

The first thing you should ask as a loving father is always the same: “How can I help/accompany you?”.

It is likely that if he’s been hiding the fact that he crossdresses, he won’t be willing to discuss the reasons why he does it right away.

Instead, if you show your unconditional love and support, he will be more open to discussing this with you in time.

5. I Believe My Son Is Crossdressing

Lastly, let’s study what is perhaps the toughest scenario to crack.

Many are the signs and traces that could be linked to your son’s crossdressing.

Stretched, stained, or missing clothes are some of the most common ones that can lead you to think that your son is responsible for it.

As stated before, first, you have to be calm and don’t read too much into it if you are not familiar with the concept.

The most logical explanation is that he finds this activity shameful.

Because of this, buying feminine clothes for himself represents, in most cases, a difficult task.

In the same line of thought, recurring either to your clothes or that of a cousin’s or sister’s, it is the quickest and most accessible way to experiment.

In this case, confronting him directly is never a good choice.

Besides the fact that you could be mistaken, confrontation will lead to a tense moment, yielding close to zero results.

Instead, speak casually about the fact that is happening and do so at a random moment without expecting a direct answer.

This will probably alert him, but it is to let him know that his acts don’t go unnoticed.

If he enjoys crossdressing privately, it won’t be hard to explain to him that others’ clothes are also part of their privacy.

If events fold out this way, three things are most likely to happen:

• He becomes more cautious when he crossdresses.

• He stops to crossdress altogether.

• He starts building his stash of clothes.

Neither of these three scenarios is healthy in any way.

These habits can produce a lot of anxiety in him and many problems in dealing with it.

If you suspect that your son is crossdressing, but he never comes out to you, don’t judge him.

He’s probably just afraid. Without open dialogue, it will be harder for you to come to his aid.

In this case, the best way to accompany him with his exploration is to ask for his help donating clothes for goodwill.

If your son crossdresses, he will find this opportunity to get some feminine attire without stepping into others’ boundaries.

Among the clothes destined for donation or a yard sale, you should sneak some underwear and maybe even something that you bought specially for him.

As a mom, you can always say that it was a gift that isn’t your style or it’s not your size and never got around to changing it.

If you guessed right, maybe someday he will open up to you and thank you for all the ways you’ve shown your love and support.

As you can see, crossdressing is more common in men than you might have thought.

As a universal truth, communication through love is the way to mutual understanding.

If you think that your son is crossdressing, no matter the circumstances, showing love and support for him is the best thing you can do.

Not doing so leads to an unhealthy growing environment that may lead to underdeveloped emotional intelligence.

As well as distancing from each other.

If you still have further doubts regarding what to do in this, let me know in the comments below so I can address them in another post if needed.

Written by Tina Munova.