How Femboys Help Break Gender Stereotypes

Every now and then, the discussion around femboys pops up in LGBTQ spaces. There are many questions about the meaning of the term. Sometimes people need clarification. But I often hear that femboys are pretty important. That is, despite being something recent. They are said to be one of today’s LGBTQ vanguards fighting for equality. But what makes them so important?

The answer to that is that they help break gender stereotypes. Femboys are pretty popular nowadays on the internet and seem to be gaining a lot of visibility. This is useful, promoting our shared objectives and challenging traditional gender roles. Here, I’ll explain more about how femboys can help our community to grow and increase LGBTQ rights!

1- Tackling fragile masculinity

Masculinity is one of the pillars of western society. Men get most of the privileges, and sexism tends to favor them. In many countries, women still have to fight for equal rights. But to maintain their status, men are required to embrace masculinity and obey a few rules. For instance, they are often told that “Boys don’t cry” and that they shouldn’t be soft. They are also taught that physical strength is valuable and femininity is a sign of weakness. After some time, these feelings grow into something else. It turns into a constant need for reassurance of their masculinity. They may also become intolerant of anything “Not masculine.” This is known as fragile masculinity. And no one fights fragile masculinity better than femboys.

As you should know by now, femboys don’t identify as girls and are, therefore, not transgender. They are men and don’t usually question that. But they show a lot of feminine traits. An excellent example of that is their clothes. Femboys like to incorporate feminine outfits into their wardrobes. Good examples are skirts, panties, and stockings. Some may wear makeup and shapewear to look even more feminine, while others use wigs. Doing that while still identifying as a man shows that their masculinity is not fragile. They know that what makes them men is not these stereotypes. Their masculinity is still on the inside, despite enjoying feminine things.

2- Inversion of gender roles

Sometimes, femboys are also able to invert gender roles. By gender roles, I mean the gender-based division of labor and social iterations. Traditionally, women suffered from limitations in both fields, in submissive positions. Men would have more independence, socially and economically speaking. It was common for the husband to be the family’s primary or only source of income while the wife took care of house chores. They often depended on their husbands for a lot of stuff and had little freedom. Although we did make a lot of progress toward equality, there are still some differences. The patriarchy is still a thing, and sometimes the division of gender roles is still visible.

Femboys go in the opposite direction. They defy gender roles by assuming the woman’s traditional position in a relationship. Not every femboy is gay. The majority of them are straight. And many of them express the desire to be submissive and stay home while their partner provides for the family. This kind of femboy fits into the “male wife” category. That is a man who stays at home taking care of house chores. This is so common that one of the most popular outfits for femboys is the French maid dress. But then again, it’s important to reiterate that they do not think of themselves as women. But they enjoy expressing their femininity in many ways – including through gender roles.

3- Challenging heteronormative concepts

Society, as a whole, tries to push us towards cis-hetero-normativeness. That means the group of cisgender and heterosexual behaviors they consider “normal.” Femboys break these concepts all the time. Since they have no fragile masculinity, the inversion of gender roles is only the beginning. Similar to cross-dressers, they constantly mix up masculine and feminine traits. It’s common for them to blur the thin line that crosses the gender spectrum. They show us that you don’t have to be ultra-masculine to date a girl. Many femboys I know are engaged to women, despite showing a feminine side.

With that in mind, we start to perceive something. Most of the gender characteristics we know are made up. They are social constructs that ended up with roots in the collective Imaginarium. As such, even though we grow up to believe that men should behave in a certain way, it’s not an actual rule. The heteronormative concepts tell us to be masculine, tough, and harsh. But we can be as soft, gentle, and emotive as we want. The same applies to our clothes, mannerisms, and behaviors. By allowing themselves to be feminine, femboys challenge these concepts. As such, they break free from the cis-hetero-normativeness and its limitations.

4- Promoting the right to be yourself

Femboys also have a lot of visibility nowadays. They are popular, and more young men each day identify as such. Most importantly, femboys are gaining space and fame outside the LGBTQ community. They are not transgender and not necessarily gay. As such, more people are willing to accept and listen to them. It helps us deconstruct prejudice, as they can talk to people who wouldn’t listen to the rest of the community. It doesn’t mean they’re free from discrimination, as it still happens. But it’s less intense, given their popularity, which allows them to reach a broad audience.

The internet and social media are leading femboys to play a role like the one of Drag Queens on mainstream media. But they have a different target audience since they reach another kind of people. But this is also great, nonetheless, since they can pass a message. Their existence and acceptance promote the “right to be yourself.” They help more people realize there’s nothing wrong with being true to themselves. Even if it means allowing yourself to be feminine, despite being a man.

Summary

Femboys may not be cross-dressers, at least the kind we’re used to. They may also not fit into the definition of LGBTQ. But they are still vital to our community and often a part of it. The very existence of femboys challenges gender stereotypes. Their role in this fight deserves proper recognition from our sisters. Do you have an opinion about it? Make sure to share it with us in the comments! I’d love to know what the rest of the community thinks about femboys.